


The Daily Super: Rhodes Tells All!

by happybibliosaurus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Steve Roger's puppy eyes, cap doesn't get the joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 04:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14992346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happybibliosaurus/pseuds/happybibliosaurus
Summary: Clint walked into the Avenger’s kitchen, in hysterical laughter, followed by an almost smiling Natasha. An almost smiling Natasha meant that whatever Clint was laughing at must be absurdly hilarious.





	The Daily Super: Rhodes Tells All!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a smol fic based on this tumblr post - http://crescenteluce.tumblr.com/post/173902344145/rhymewithrachel-thecastingcircle.  
> It inspired to write this because i could not stop laughing every time I saw it, and I must have reblogged it about a million times by now. Credit to the artist (they are amazing!)  
> This is not set at any real point, or any particular verse. Enjoy!

Clint walked into the Avenger’s kitchen, in hysterical laughter, followed by an almost smiling Natasha. An almost smiling Natasha meant that whatever Clint was laughing at must be absurdly hilarious. The woman never smiled. In fact, Tony wasn't sure if he'd ever seen the women show emotion before. He would bring that up at a later point, maybe. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked. It then occurred to him whether he should ask. Should he smile at Natasha’s reaction or run with fear? 

Before he had fully contemplated that idea, Clint threw down the magazine in his hands onto the counter in front of Tony, in the form of an answer. Tony picked it up, and immediately began to join in with the laughter. 

“Oh my gosh,” Tony wheezed, clutching at his side, bent over double. "Oh, this is amazing!"

"Isn't it!" Clint replied gleefully.

"I can't believe he actually went and did this!"

The dude is a genius prankster! I wish I had thought of this!"

As the three of them continued to laugh uncontrollable, without explaining why, Steve went to grab the source of his team's hysterics.

“Oh, Cap, I don’t think you should – “

Tony never finished his sentence, because Clint suddenly sank to the floor, and began to roll over, still unable to stop laughing, to the point it was beginning to hurt, causing Tony to laugh harder, and Natasha’s smirk to grow just a fraction bigger. Tony would make sure Jarvis had captured that at a later date. That was the sort of thing that may become handy if he ever needed to blackmail Natasha in the future. Not that he would ever. He was to scared of the women to ever contemplate it.

Steve gave them a confused glance, grabbed the magazine, and read the front cover of the magazine.

_“He left Black Widow for Captain America. Rhodes tells all.”_

_“Son of Ironman; Tony Stark hid secret child for 15 years!”_

_“Inside their explosive final fight. The $600 million divorce.”_

_“Widow cries: “I was alone in the delivery room!”_

Steve was lost for words. Shocked. He just couldn't understand! Why would a magazine say such, such lies!? And why was this so funny to them all? A magazine was printing such slander about him. Slander, which was apparently coming from his best friend! Steve liked Rhodey; he seemed like a good, honest man – so why was his spreading such hurtful gossip about Tony? 

Having frozen for a couple of minutes after reading the, the awful gossip rag – he despaired in calling it a magazine – Steve turned and glared at the others.

“You shouldn’t be laughing at this, Tony. This could really hurt your reputation. Could hurt our, the Avengers, reputation. Why would Colonel Rhodes being spreading such wrong, and cruel gossip?! For God sake guys, this is not funny!!” He cried out, causing the others to laugh even more. “We have to do something. Call Pepper, and get this, this vile gossip sorted out. WILL YOU ALL PLEASE STOP LAUGHING!”

At this point Tony fell of his stool.

Steve went to grab him, but Tony put a hand up to stop him, then sat up on the floor, still wheezing and gasping for air.

“Steeevvvveee,” he cried, in between breathes, “don’t worry about it!”

“Don’t worry about it?!” Steve cried frustratedly.

“Yeah, yeah, Rhodes is just messing with us.” He explained. “I may have beaten him a chess last week, flipped the board and called him some .. umm… colourful names. I mean everyone knows I am a bad winner, so I really don’t know what he expected me to do, but he swore to ‘get his revenge on me’.” The latter part he added air quotes to. “And, I guess this” he gestured to the magazine scrunched in Steve’s hands, “is what he meant by revenge.” 

Clint gave Tony a friendly slap on the back. “Wow, that man! Next time he comes here, remind me to ask him to marry him!” Laughed Clint.

“Sure will,” replied back Tony, smiling gleefully back, “but I’d advise you to protect yourself against Pepper’s wrath if you do!”

Tony's reply apparently gave cause for Clint to laugh even louder, and clutch his stomach, as if laughing was beginning to cause him pain.

“Ahem.”

Clint and Tony turned to face Steve, who was now standing in parade rest, anger on his face increasing. 

“If you two have finished, I’d like to get back to discussing this garbage,” he growled in his Captain America voice.

Tony sighed “Capsicle, don’t worry your pretty little ass about it, “Steve flinched uncomfortably, “Pepper has it all under control probably, and it’s not like anyone is going to believe it. Everyone knows it’s all lies, and its not going to do us any harm.” Tony pulled himself to his feet, and patted Steve’s arm. “It’s just a stupid gossip rag.”

Steve grabbed hold of Tony’s arm, preventing him from moving away. “You can’t just laugh everything off. Why would Rhodey say things like that? I mean, I get the kid. Thor was so surprised when he discovered the kid wasn’t yours. But why accuse Nat of being the mother, or leaving her alone in the delivery room? What has Nat done to Rhodey?” Steve paused, and his voice dropped. “And why say you cheated on her, cheated on her – with me?” 

The atmosphere change considerably in the room, as Cap questioned Tony, with his sad, confused blue eyes. Silence spread across the room.

Well, until Clint began to squeal.

“Noooo no no, Nat, I want to stay and see how this goes,” he cried, as Nat began to forcibly drag him our of the room. "Please!"

“Come on, cтупица,” she muttered, kicking him out of the room, then giving Tony a sharp, meaningful stare, and slamming the door between them.

The silence continued, with Steve looking at Tony with a confused sad expression, and Tony fidgeted under his gaze.

“Tony, why me?” 

The sadness in Steve’s voice was obvious in every world he said. It was unbearable. Tony flicked Steve’s hand off his arm, and stormed over to the counter, grabbing his coffee cup.

There was a very good reason why Rhodey had said Cap. Rhodey knew about Tony’s small – well, huge – crush on Captain America. Rhodey had been around when Tony had had the guys posters on his bedroom wall. He knew of his obsession. At University he hadn’t exactly tried to hide his crush - there was no point. They guy he had had a crush on had died in the war, decades ago.  
Only then he hadn’t, and Tony had had to rethink his crush. He was working with the damn guy, so he needed to get his feelings under control. It didn’t help that Cap was even more stunning in real life - all rippling muscles, lovely blonde hair, and a cute smile. He was also the nicest human being he had ever met. He was selfless, effortlessly kind, and always patiently listened to Tony’s grumbles. He made sure Tony ate when he missed meals, dragged him to his bed when he had been working in the workshop for too long, and kept him company in the workshop. Every time he saw Steve sat on the couch in his workshop, face concentrated in his art, smudges up his cheek, completely lost in what he was doing, he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter slightly.  
Tony was hopelessly, undeniably, in love with Steve Rogers. And it broke his heart that he would never be able to tell Steve, one of his best friends in the world, that.

Rhodey had been the only one he had confided this crush in. And now he was trapped in a corner.

He could try and laugh it off. Tell Steve it was all a joke. That Rhodey was just having a laugh and had chosen Cap as it was the most unbelievable. Heck, it was less unbelievable than him having a son with Black Widow. Steve would never know he was lying. But he really hated lying to Captain America's face. There was something very wrong about it. 

Option 2, he could confess his love for Captain America, a national icon and his friend, and just hope that when (not if) he was rejected, it didn’t ruin the team dynamics too much. Or there was Option 3. Okay, there wasn’t an option three. Option one it would have to be then.

That was what he was thinking as he turned back to Steve anyway. It wasn’t what he actually did, but it was what he planned to do. That was until he caught Steve’s big blue puppy-dog eyes. They looked at him, so sad and confused, and Tony couldn't do it. He couldn't lie to him. He loved the man so much, and he felt like he might burst if he didn't do something about it. Right now. In a moment of madness, and without thinking properly, he marched right up to Steve Rogers, and kissed him violently on the lips. 

He was expecting for Steve to shove him away in disgust. To cry out, push him away, and storm off, their friendship forever ruined, and the team’s dynamic shattered. 

But Steve didn’t. Instead he kissed back, placing one hand gently on the back on Tony’s neck, the other wrapping round his waist, pulling in closer. Not what Tony expected. His mind went into chaos. He, Anthony Edward Stark, was being kissed by Captain America! It was actually happening; all his boyhood dreams coming true. For a blissful moment he imagine that maybe, just maybe, Steve loved him back. But of course that couldn't be true! Stupid, stupid brain. Why was he doing this?! Why wasn't Steve stopping him?! 

Tony pulled away.

“Hey,” Steve whispered, a confused, but not upset edge to his voice. 

Tony, realising his hands were currently up Steve’s shirt (touching his warm, beautiful skin), pulled sharply away, taking a step back. 

“I’m sorry, Steve. I shouldn’t of done that! I’m so sorry.” He took a sharp intake of breath, speech getting faster, as he spiralled. “I guess Rhodey said you, because he knows that I have a massive crush on you, I, I have done since I was fourteen, and that I just cannot shake it, because your just so you! Your beautiful, and amazing, and kind, and caring, and I’m madly in love with you, and I can’t stop it! So, just, just - slap me now, and storm off, and we can pretend that nothing ever happened. Nobody needs to know I pounced on you, and, and - I can leave the team. I'll just, just leave, and go back to Malibu, and we never need to see each other again. And –"

Steve stopped his rambling by kissing him, short and quick, on the lips.

“I love you too,” was all he said in explanation.

\------  
Bonus Rhodey:

_“Hmm, yeah, he kid is his. He’s been hiding his son for 15 years now. I know, Tony Stark has a secret love child. Who knew?! The mother?? Oh, yeah, of course it’s Black Widow. Makes sense because they are both Spiders. Like Mother, like Son, and all that! You want to speak to her? Oh yeah, sure she is here. [Puts on fake, high pitched, Russian-ish, sounding voice] Yes, the boy is mine. Hmm, yeah, Tony Stark is the father. I was all alone in the delivery room! The bastard was busy in Malibu having fun with some blonde bimbo he had picked up there! Well, of course, I didn’t find that out until the divorce! And oh boy, I bet you wish you had witnessed that fight! Of course I won, there was no contest, Tony Stark is just some dumb playboy with a suit, and I’m The Black Widow. Ugh, Americans. [Rustling of phone. Rhodey goes back to his normal voice] Sorry, she stormed off. She is still very upset about it all. She got $600 million in the divorce though. I think that hurt Tony more than any other part of it. Why did they get divorced?! Um.. well.. he had an affair! Who with!? Oh, Captain America. Yeah, he left Black Widow for Captain America. That makes sense. Hmm, I think that is all! Make sure you quote me on all that! Byee!“  
[Call ends.] _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed that! It's my first ever piece of writing/fic/ramble on a page. Maybe I'll write some more. Or maybe I'll continue to binge watch Agents of SHIELD. Who knows? Tune in at a later date to find out!


End file.
